When I was 27, my dad asked me why I wasn’t yet married. Having been married by the age of 27, it was unfathomable to him that his daughter was yet to marry at that age. Perhaps he saw my unmarried status as a failing of his own parenting, or perhaps it concerned him that I was “living in sin”. I’m not sure what it was, but these irritating questions continued until I “finally” got engaged two years later. I suppose, at age 31, though I say this with slight trepidation that I may jinx myself, I should be grateful that I have not yet received any questions on childbearing.
Interestingly, 27 is also a significant age for single women in China. Those who are unmarried by this age are automatically classified as “leftovers” – unappealing women who will probably remain single for the rest of their lives. This concept is, of course, not unique to China. Across the world, there is a tendency to dismiss single women of a certain age. Women who don’t abide by the convention of marriage and children (not to mention a million other expectations) are usually pitied for their misfortune. Those who are not pitied suffer a worse fate: their singleness is explained away by an ostensibly unattractive trait. “See, that’s why she’s single. She should really stop being such a bitch if she wants a man.” Or, “She’d be able to find someone if she just lost a bit of weight.”
Men, naturally, are much luckier when it comes to this topic. Not only is the consensus that males “age like a fine wine”, a single older man is perceived to be someone who enjoys their independence, who is appealing by virtue of their choice to stay single. Note: while men are seen to have a choice in this matter, it’s often a misfortune that just befalls women…🧐
Anyway!!
For a few years now, I’ve wanted to collaborate with women on their experiences with the expectations of womanhood. We’ve all had to navigate the tricky terrain of questions, assumptions, and biases to do with our gender, and I think that it’s important for these stories to be heard![1]
I envision this project, titled Leftovers, to be a compilation of art (short stories, visual art, poetry, music, the world is your oyster!) and recipes. I mean, who could resist the temptation to add a food element with such an evocative name? Besides, food will always be one of my greatest loves, and to me, the stories behind recipes are just as important as the flavours of the dish itself. I’d love to hear about the recipes that have played a part in shaping the contributor’s identity, and I’d love to taste these dishes myself. A small side note: wouldn’t it be delightful to enjoy the leftovers of these recipes whilst savouring the artwork made by fellow “leftover” women? 🤡
So; here’s my invitation to Substack. Are you at all interested in the Leftovers project? Would you like to contribute towards this work? Would you subscribe to a newsletter on this topic? And would you buy such a book if you found it at a bookshop? Tell me everything!
Finally, I’ve added a piece of flash fiction that I created last year for inspiration[2]. This is my single contribution to the Leftovers project so far, but I do hope that with your help, this will change with time.
As usual, thank you very much for taking the time to read my post, and I hope that the sun is shining wherever you are. ☀️
Kind regards,
Win Win
[1] Keep in mind, I’ve led what is a fairly conventional life thus far, so if I’ve had these experiences, I’m sure that others have much more interesting tales to tell.
[2] While this piece of fiction does involve food, I don’t expect art contributions to revolve around this topic.
Please count me in!
Yes yes yes! This sounds ENTIRELY up my street